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Title and Chapter Number: Fire and Berries (or Shut the Door on the Way Out!) 1/1 Vignette
Fandom: Middle Earth
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: Hal isn't mine, damnit. Middle Earth and the characters therein are owned by their respective creators and they retain all rights. OC's are owned by me.
Special Warning: A little Haldir naughtiness, written in about 30 minutes.
Beta: None
Cast: Haldir, his ego, and his woman.
Timeline: AU
Spoiler: Not really, since this never happened
Summary: Haldir is so in love with himself, is there room for anyone else?
Notes: I know Elves don't have the sort of weaknesses my elleth does, but where's the fun in perfection?

Three consecutive tours on the fences.  

'Why?' you ask?

Simple: fear.

I know, I can see the shock on your face.  'Haldir fears nothing!' you are thinking.  But only a foolish elf has no fear, a wise elf knows when he is in trouble.

It had started so innocently, well, not really, but even I have my faults - no, I do, small as they are - and I simply forgot…

I had returned from my last assignment to Gondor a half day before she did. I knew she had done nothing but think of me for the last three weeks.  I bathed and collected my things, planning on surprising her in her talan upon her return.  

I arrived and entered, knowing my time was short.  I drew a hot bath and added my favorite scented oils, lit candles about the boudoir and bathroom as the days light ended, and hastened to prepare the repast I had planned. In the bedroom I poured my favorite bubbling wine, set the wild strawberries I had picked on my way back to Lórien on the nightstand, and covered them with a silken cloth.

I surveyed my work, ticking off items in my mind. She would be so grateful to me that she would do anything I asked.

Just then I heard a noise upon the steps.  I hurriedly removed my robes. I lay down and stretched out, imagining her joy when she saw me draped across her bed, bathed in candlelight.

The door opened and my sweet elleth entered, looking tired and aggravated. She dropped her saddle bags at the sight of me, the candlelight gleaming off my golden skin and silver locks.

I rose and crossed to her; I could feel her appreciative gaze at the muscles playing under my skin.  I carefully took the rest of her dirty travel gear from her and placed it beside the door. I drew her inside the room and closed the door securely behind her.

"Haldir, what are you doing here?  I thought you were still on assignment for the Lady?"

"I finished my task early, and returned with haste to you."  

She tried to embrace me, but the dirt of the road was still upon her, so I gently steered her backwards toward the bathroom, carefully removing her soiled clothing as we walked. By the time we reached the steaming tub, she was as naked as I.  

I held her hands as she stepped into the water and sunk thankfully into it.

I washed her skin and hair, untangling her golden tresses with my fingers. She closed her eyes and relaxed against the back of the tub, whispering thanks and praises for my dexterity and thoughtfulness.

I rinsed her hair and helped her from the tub, wrapping a soft towel around her.  We reentered the bedroom and sat on the bed, where I unwrapped her and dried her hair.  

I told her I had a surprise for her, to lean against the headboard, close her eyes and relax.

She did, and I took the silk cloth, folded it and tied it loosely over her eyes. She shivered with anticipation, knowing I surely had something pleasurable in mind.

I raised a glass of wine, and gently pressed it to her trembling lips. She parted them and took a sip, enjoying the warmth in her throat.

I set the glass back on the stand and selected a large red berry from the dish and bit into it, relishing its fresh sweetness.  I drew the juicy berry across her skin and watched as goose bumps rose everywhere it touched.  I then traced the berry around her full lips, teasing her with it.

She licked her lips, her tongue slowly savoring the flavor.

I knew she was putty in my hands, when she suddenly sat up, whipped the blindfold from her eyes and looked at me with disbelief.  She yelled at me then, "What are you doing? You know I am allergic to strawberries!"

I looked at her flesh where the berry had touched and saw that it was already swollen and red.

"Get out!" she screamed at me, and giving me no time to even collect my clothes, started to pelt me with the offending berries, followed closely by the crystal glasses. Then as I closed the door hastily behind me, the heavy crash of the bottle.

So that is the sad story of why I have been on the fences for so long, I simply forgot. Perhaps next time I will try honey and roses.

I miss her, but I doubt she thinks of me so kindly, my Hunuinnaurë, my Heart-of-Fire, my Fireheart.